I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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