You're so nebulous sometimes
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
