Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
