I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
