Pants 0. Shit 1.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
The chlamydia really affected his face.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
