oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I think I just sharted jello shots
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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