some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
