How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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