Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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