do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He shit in the fireplace
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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