I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
