if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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