If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize
