Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
