Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
My balls are so social today.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
