I have demons in me.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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