you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
