OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
