dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
