no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
