As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
