PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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