I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
he fucked my hip out of place.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
