Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
