that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
