Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
My vagina just clenched in fear
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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