my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
