Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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