Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
How does one acquire holy water?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
