I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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