Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
