New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Randomize
