Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize