why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
