U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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