So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
