I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
