I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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