Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
