I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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