I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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