after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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