when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
