So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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