i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm having to shit out rocks
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