I'm drive I can fine osifer
so let's talk penis.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
