drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
