You smell like stripper and shame
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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