apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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