after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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