after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
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