Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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